I Am

I am soft but strong
I wonder how long all the ice cream that I ate while I was pregnant
is going to hang around my hips
I hear the phone ring every time I am in the shower
I see a vision of my disabled son walking towards me
when I am asleep
I am soft but strong

I pretend that the hypnotic glow of the moon reflects part of my soul
I feel it drawing me closer as I close my eyes
I touch my arm covered with goosebumps and
I worry that I spend too much time fantasizing
I cry when I feel lost and alone
I am soft but strong

I understand that someday my children will leave home
I say "I love you" and give them many hugs and kisses every day
I dream that my son who can't talk asks me what I'm fixing for dinner
I try to be a good mom
I hope that my children remember their childhood as a happy time
I am soft but strong