I Am

I am soft but strong
I wonder how long all the ice cream that I ate while I was pregnant
is going to hang around my hips
I hear the phone ring every time I am in the shower
I see a vision of my disabled son walking towards me
when I am asleep
I am soft but strong

I pretend that the hypnotic glow of the moon reflects part of my soul
I feel it drawing me closer as I close my eyes
I touch my arm covered with goosebumps and
I worry that I spend too much time fantasizing
I cry when I feel lost and alone
I am soft but strong

I understand that someday my children will leave home
I say "I love you" and give them many hugs and kisses every day
I dream that my son who can't talk asks me what I'm fixing for dinner
I try to be a good mom
I hope that my children remember their childhood as a happy time
I am soft but strong

The First Step

Age 14
sitting on the front porch with Adam
Eating
chocolate chip cookies in the hot Summer sun
Fingertips
brush as we reach for each other
Warm
sweaty palm presses my own
Sweet
dark chocolate smudge waiting on his lip
Softly
Slowly
I taste my first kiss

Building Bailey's Play Kitchen

listen,
it impossible,
it a mess
of a play kitchen.
listen,
somebody need interpreter
to figure it out.
somebody need
second pair of hands to hold steady.
listen,
kitchen,
i'm gonna fix you,
i'm gonna put you together.
contrary
hopeless:
no way kitchen,
you won't get best of me.
there
you're
done.

Dollars Mom

Soft, sweaty, plump perfection
possessing of a heart of gold
and a hand full of pennies
pilfered from her sister's purse.

Dollars Mom!
She shrieks with triumph
celebrating with each
and every event of her day.

Voice and curls
bouncing, flying
with equal parts
energy and grace.